Narcissist Test: Signs, Types & How to Deal With One

Something​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌ just doesn't quite sit right in your relationship. After talking, you often find yourself puzzled, down, or feeling as if you are being blamed - even though you haven't done anything wrong. Maybe you want to test if your partner is a narcissist so that you can understand better what is going on and label it.

This blog will help you recognize the main symptoms of a narcissist, the various kinds of narcissists, and ways to keep yourself safe from ​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌them.

What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?

Before​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌ carrying out any mental narcissist test, it is useful to have a grasp of the clinical picture. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a recognized psychological disorder that is described in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5). The disorder is marked by a persistent pattern of grandiosity (an exaggerated sense of one's own importance), a strong desire for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.

NPD is more widespread than most people think. A large-scale study of 34,653 US adults, known as the Wave 2 National Epidemiologic Survey on Alcohol and Related Conditions, reported that the lifetime prevalence of NPD is about 6.2%, with men showing higher rates (7.7%) than women (4.8%). So, approximately 6 out of every 100 adults are ​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌affected.

Narcissist Test: Key Signs of a Narcissist

No​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌ online quiz can diagnose NPD — only a licensed mental health professional is qualified for that. However, recognizing the traits of a narcissist can be a first step to understanding what you are going through.

Think of how many of these behaviors match the person you have in mind:

If five or more of these traits are present consistently and manifest in different areas of life - relationships, work, family, then that pattern will be clinically significant, according to DSM-5 criteria provided by the American Psychiatric ​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌Association (APA).

Narcissist vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder

It's​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌ crucial to understand the difference between a narcissist and narcissistic personality disorder. Just because a person acts in a selfish or self-important manner doesn't necessarily mean they have NPD. Narcissism ranges from mild to severe.

Someone may display narcissistic traits such as showing off, lack of empathy, or a sense of entitlement prominently, yet they might not cross the clinical line for NPD. 

What sets NPD apart is that these behaviors are deeply ingrained, present for a long time, and severely impact the person's relationships and overall functioning. If uncertain, the best course is to consult a qualified mental health professional rather than relying on an online narcissist ​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌test.

Types of Narcissists

Recognizing​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌ the different types of narcissists not only shows you their manifestations but also lets you identify the ones who do not necessarily fit the loud and obvious stereotype of a narcissist.

Grandiose (overt) narcissist

The biggest among the types is this one that we recognize. Such a person is flamboyantly arrogant, makes the conversation all about themselves, and wants to be the center of attention. They are not ashamed when it comes to bragging and showing off their superiority.

Covert narcissist

Sometimes also referred to as the vulnerable narcissist, this type of person is the one who is really difficult to recognize. Whereas an overt narcissist will brandish their need for admiration, this one plays the victim, will sulk, and is likely to use passive-aggression as a means of controlling others. 

In the opinion of Psychology Today, covert narcissists possess the same inherent traits as overt ones - feeling entitled, slacking on empathy, and desiring admiration. But instead, manifest them through self-pity and martyrdom as opposed to open dominance.

It is very normal not to be able to name the problem for years while you are experiencing a relationship with a covert narcissist. It is that kind of confusion that has been the main thing described by the people who have suffered from ​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌it.

Traits of a Narcissist That Are Easy to Miss

Some​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌ aspects of a narcissist's personality show up quite clearly from the very beginning. However, the most disturbing ones only manifest when you've emotionally engaged in the relationship. For instance, you may be:

• Love bombed: Showered with an overwhelming amount of love and affection basically as a strategy to get you hooked quickly, then the person goes cold once you're emotionally dependent

• Gaslighted: The person denies things they've said or done, so you start doubting your own memory, judgment, and even sanity

• Keeping score: No matter what you achieve, the standards are continuously raised to make you feel deficient

• Drawn into drama: Suddenly, the narcissist introduces a butting-in person, like an ex, a friend, a colleague, just to create jealousy or insecurity

• Having episodes of selective amnesia: Easily forgetting agreements or promises whenever it suits

Usually, these behavior patterns are not isolated incidents. The traits of a narcissist not only keep repeating but also intensify over ​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌time.

How to Spot a Narcissist Early

Being​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌ able to identify a narcissist before being intimately involved with one can save you a lot of harm. Some of the initial indicators are:

• In the very first talks, they are the only ones talking, and they focus on their own stories and achievements

• When speaking about former relationships, they always portray themselves as the victim

• They can get very charming when they meet strangers, but disregard people who are not able to assist them

• They find it hard to honestly share in your joy

• Criticism, even mild constructive feedback, leads to them becoming defensive or angry

Listen to your inner voice. If, after each meeting with them, you feel downtrodden, puzzled, or drained, then such feeling serves as ​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌information.

How to Deal With a Narcissist

The​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌ way you handle a narcissist in your life will depend on what kind of relationship you have with them and also whether you're able to create some distance from them. To start with, here is what the research evidence indicates:

Set clear boundaries and stick to them. Narcissists, with their typical traits, will often try to test the limits. According to WebMD, referring to a licensed clinical social worker, Kimberly Perlin, one should be straightforward and firm about the boundaries without giving a lot of explanations or defending them.

Stop trying to argue about reality. Gaslighting is a technique used to entice you to dispute what is true and what is not. Try to disconnect from that kind of discussion. You don't need to have their approval in order to have confidence in your own experience.

Get help from outside the relationship. Narcissistic relationships are, in fact, very isolating. Getting in touch again with your friends, family, or even a therapist will bring back the viewpoint that the relationship was destroyed.

Consult a professional. One-on-one counseling is very effective (especially therapy types like CBT and trauma-focused therapy) in helping you work through the damage, restore self-esteem, and decide wisely about the relationship. If you want to figure out your plight on your own before seeing a professional, August AI - an AI assistant in health, which achieved 100% correct answers on medical licensing exams - is there to help you sort things out and prepare your questions for your ​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌counselor.

Key Takeaways

There​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌ isn't a single narcissist test that would give you a clear answer if someone in your life has NPD. However, being aware of narcissistic traits, such as a sense of deservingness, no empathy, manipulation, and the distinct behavioral characteristics of a hidden narcissist. It can provide you with a structure to rely on your own experience. In case these behaviors remind you of someone, a therapist can assist you in understanding your suffering and in deciding your ​‍​‌‍​‍‌​‍​‌‍​‍‌future.