Umujinya Udasanzwe wo Kubura Umuntu Ukundwa: Ibimenyetso, Intandaro, n'Ubuvuzi

Umujinya udasanzwe wo kubura umuntu ukundwa ubaho iyo inzira isanzwe yo gukira nyuma yo kubura umuntu ukundwa ihagarara, bikagutera ububabare bukomeye budashira n'igihe. Mu gihe umujinya usanzwe ugabanuka ukaba woroshye mu mezi, umujinya udasanzwe ukomeza kukubera ububabare bukomeye bwo mu ntangiriro.

Ibi si ukugira ngo bivuge ko ‘bitwara igihe kinini kugira ngo ukire’ cyangwa ‘kuba ufite amarangamutima menshi’. Ni uburwayi bwemewe aho igisubizo cyawe cy'umujinya kiba gikomeye ku buryo kibangamira ubushobozi bwawe bwo gukora ibintu bya buri munsi, ndetse n'amezi cyangwa imyaka nyuma yo kubura kwawe.

Ibimenyetso by'umujinya udasanzwe wo kubura umuntu ukundwa ni ibihe?

Ibimenyetso by'umujinya udasanzwe wo kubura umuntu ukundwa bimeze nk'aho uri mu cyiciro cya mbere, kibabaza cyane cyo kubabazwa nta kintu na kimwe cyoroheje. Ushobora kubona ko abandi bantu bakugendera hafi basa n'abatera imbere, ariko wowe wumva uhagaze mu gihe.

Dore ibimenyetso bisanzwe byerekana ko umujinya ushobora kuba waragoranye:

• Umutima ukomeye wo kwifuza no guhora utekereza ku muntu wapfuye udatakaza imbaraga n'igihe
• Kubura ubushobozi bwo kwemera ko umuntu yapfuye, ndetse n'amezi nyuma
• Ubuzimu buhoraho cyangwa kubura ubushobozi bwo kumva amarangamutima atari umujinya
• Uburakari bukabije cyangwa ishari ku rupfu
• Kumva ko ubuzima nta gaciro cyangwa intego bufite utabayeho umukunzi wawe
• Kubura ubushobozi bwo kwiringira abandi cyangwa gushinga imibanire mishya
• Kubura ubushobozi bwo gukomeza ubuzima cyangwa gufata ibyemezo
• Kwirinda abantu, ahantu, cyangwa ibikorwa bikwibutsa umuntu wapfuye
• Ibibazo byo kurara, harimo inzozi mbi ku rupfu
• Ibimenyetso by'umubiri nko kubabara mu kifuba, kubabara umutwe, cyangwa ibibazo by'igogorwa

Icyongera ubukana bw'ibi bimenyetso ni ukubakomeza no gukomera. Mu gihe iyi myumvire ari isanzwe mu gihe cy'umujinya wa mbere, umujinya udasanzwe bivuze ko bikomeza ku mbaraga zose nta kintu na kimwe cyoroheje mu mezi menshi.

Ni iki gitera umujinya udasanzwe wo kubura umuntu ukundwa?

Umujinya udasanzwe ubaho iyo hari ikintu kibangamiye ubushobozi bw'ubwonko bwawe bwo gutunganya no guhuza n'ibyabaye. Tekereza nk'igikomere kidakira neza kuko hari ikintu gikomeza kukibabaza.

Ibintu byinshi bishobora gutera ubu bwoko bugoye bw'umujinya:

• Impfu zidasanzwe, zidatunguranye, cyangwa ziterwa n'ibyago bikomeye bikuyeho umwanya wo kwitegura
• Impfu zirimo ihohoterwa, impanuka, cyangwa kwiyahura
• Kubura umuntu wagiraga uruhare rukomeye, ufite imibanire ikomeye nawe
• Kugira amakimbirane atararangira cyangwa amarangamutima agoranye ku muntu wapfuye
• Kubura inkunga y'abantu mu gihe cy'umujinya wawe
• Uburambe bwa mbere bwa depression, imihangayiko, cyangwa izindi ndwara zo mu mutwe
• Ibibazo byinshi bibaho icyarimwe
• Imimerere yawe bwite, nko kuba ufite imihangayiko cyane cyangwa ugira ikibazo cyo guhindura ibintu

Rimwe na rimwe umujinya udasanzwe ubaho iyo wumva ufite uruhare mu rupfu cyangwa ukaba wemera ko wari warabirinda. Ibi bitekerezo bishobora gutera uruziga aho icyaha no kwibona nabi bikabuza inzira isanzwe yo gukira kubaho.

Ni ryari ukwiye kubona muganga kubera umujinya udasanzwe wo kubura umuntu ukundwa?

Ukwiye gutekereza gusaba ubufasha bw'umwuga niba ibimenyetso byawe by'umujinya bikomeza bikaba bidahinduka nyuma y'amezi atandatu, cyangwa niba bigutera ibibazo bikomeye mu buzima bwawe bwa buri munsi. Nta gukemangwa mu gusaba ubufasha bwiyongereye muri iki gihe kigoye.

Dore ibimenyetso byihariye byerekana ko igihe kigeze cyo gusaba ubufasha bw'umwuga:

• Ntushobora kwemera ko umuntu yapfuye nyuma y'amezi menshi
• Umujinya wawe wumvikana nk'ububabare bukomeye nk'uko byari bimeze mu byumweru bya mbere nyuma y'urupfu
• Ufite ibitekerezo byo kwifuza gupfa cyangwa kwifatanya n'umukunzi wawe
• Ntushobora gukora ibintu by'ingenzi mu buzima nko gukora, imibanire, cyangwa kwita ku buzima bwawe
• Ukoresha inzoga, ibiyobyabwenge, cyangwa ibindi bintu kugira ngo ubone uko uhangana n'ububabare
• Incuti n'umuryango bagaragaza impungenge ku mibereho yawe
• Wumva udashobora kwiringira ejo hazaza

Wibuke ko gusaba ubufasha ntibivuze ko uri umuntu udakomeye cyangwa ko wakundaga umuntu wawe mu buryo buke. Inkunga y'umwuga ishobora kugufasha kubaha urukundo rwawe mugihe kimwe ukaba ushaka uburyo bwo gukomeza urwo rukundo mu buryo bwiza.

Ni ibihe bintu bishobora gutera umujinya udasanzwe wo kubura umuntu ukundwa?

Ibintu bimwe na bimwe n'imimerere bwite bishobora gutera umuntu kugira umujinya udasanzwe. Gusobanukirwa ibi bintu bishobora kugufasha kumenya igihe ukeneye inkunga yiyongereye.

Ibintu by'ingenzi bishobora gutera uyu mujinya harimo:

• Uburyo bw'imibanire - kubura umwana, umugore cyangwa umugabo, cyangwa umuntu wari hafi yawe cyane
• Uburyo umuntu yapfuye - impfu zidasanzwe, kwiyahura, kwicwa, cyangwa impanuka
• Uburyo bwawe bwo kwishingikiriza - niba usanzwe uishingikiriza cyane ku mibanire ya hafi
• Ibibazo by'ubuzima bwo mu mutwe nka depression cyangwa imihangayiko
• Inkunga y'abantu ikeya cyangwa kumva uri wenyine mu mujinya wawe
• Kuba umugore (abagore bafite amahirwe menshi yo kugira umujinya udasanzwe)
• Kuba mukuru, kuko urupfu rushobora kugaragaza ibibazo byinshi icyarimwe
• Kugira ibibazo byinshi bikomeye mu gihe gito

Kugira ibi bintu ntibivuze ko uzagira umujinya udasanzwe. Abantu benshi bafite ibi bintu barangiza umujinya wabo mu buryo busanzwe mu gihe n'inkunga. Ibi bintu bivuze gusa kwita cyane ku nzira yawe yo gukira.

Ni ibihe bibazo bishobora guterwa n'umujinya udasanzwe wo kubura umuntu ukundwa?

Iyo umujinya udasanzwe utabonye ubuvuzi, ushobora gutera ibibazo byinshi bigira ingaruka ku buzima bwawe bwose. Umujinya udashira utera umunaniro ku buzima bwawe bwo mu mutwe no mu mubiri.

Ibibazo bisanzwe bishobora kubaho harimo:

• Depression ikomeye irenga umujinya usanzwe
• Indwara z'imihangayiko, harimo ibitero by'umutima n'imihangayiko y'abantu
• Post-traumatic stress disorder, cyane cyane niba urupfu rwari urw'akaga
• Ikoreshwa ry'ibiyobyabwenge nk'uburyo bwo guhagarika ububabare buhoraho
• Ibibazo byo kurara n'insomonia idashira
• Ibibazo by'umutima, kuko umunaniro udashira ugira ingaruka ku buzima bw'umutima
• Ubudahangarwa bw'umubiri buke butera indwara nyinshi
• Kwirinda abantu no kwangiza imibanire
• Ibibazo byo gukora cyangwa kwiga kubera kubura ubushobozi bwo kwibanda
• Ibitekerezo cyangwa imyitwarire yo kwiyahura mu bihe bikomeye

Inkuru nziza ni uko ibi bibazo bikunze kwirindwa cyangwa kuvurwa neza. Kubona ubufasha kubera umujinya udasanzwe bishobora guhagarika iyi nzira mbi kandi bikagufasha gusubiza ubuzima bwawe n'imibereho yawe.

Umujinya udasanzwe wo kubura umuntu ukundwa upimwa ute?

Kumenya umujinya udasanzwe bisaba ikiganiro cyiza n'umuhanga mu buzima bwo mu mutwe usobanukiwe n'umujinya n'ibyabaye. Nta kizamini cy'amaraso cyangwa iskaneri y'ubu burwayi - ahubwo, muganga azashaka gusobanukirwa uburambe bwawe n'uko bugira ingaruka ku buzima bwawe.

Mu gihe cyo gusuzuma, umuvuzi wawe azakubaza ibi bikurikira:

• Ibisobanuro by'ibyabaye n'igihe byabaye
• Uko ibimenyetso byawe by'umujinya byahindutse (cyangwa bikomeje kuba kimwe) mu gihe
• Uko ibi bimenyetso bigira ingaruka ku mikorere yawe ya buri munsi
• Imibanire yawe n'umuntu wapfuye
• Uburyo bwawe bw'inkunga n'uburyo uhangana n'ibibazo
• Ibindi bimenyetso by'ubuzima bwo mu mutwe ufite
• Amateka yawe bwite n'ay'umuryango wawe ku bijyanye n'ubuzima bwo mu mutwe

Umuvuzi wawe azashaka kandi gukuraho izindi ndwara zishobora kumera nk'umujinya udasanzwe, nka depression ikomeye cyangwa PTSD. Iyi gusuzuma neza bifasha guhamya ko ubonye ubuvuzi bukwiye ku kibazo cyawe.

Ubuvuzi bw'umujinya udasanzwe wo kubura umuntu ukundwa ni buhe?

Ubuvuzi bw'umujinya udasanzwe bugamije kugufasha gutunganya ibyabaye mu buryo bwiza mugihe kimwe ukiga gukomeza urukundo rwawe mu buzima bwawe. Uburyo bwiza cyane bugenewe umujinya, si ubuvuzi busanzwe bwa depression cyangwa imihangayiko.

Uburyo bw'ingenzi bwo kuvura harimo:

• Complicated Grief Therapy (CGT) - uburyo bwihariye bwo kuvura bwagenewe iyi ndwara
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy ihujwe n'umujinya
• Amatsinda y'inkunga afite abantu bafite ibibazo nk'ibyawe
• Imiti nka antidepressants, cyane cyane niba hari depression
• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) niba hari ibintu by'akaga
• Uburyo bushingiye ku kwiyumvisha kugira ngo ubone uko uhangana n'amarangamutima akomeye

Complicated Grief Therapy yagaragaje iterambere ryihariye, ifasha abantu bagera kuri 70% barangije ubuvuzi. Ubu buvuzi bugufasha guhura buhoro buhoro n'ukuri kw'ibyabaye mugihe kimwe ukaba usubira mu buzima n'imibanire mu buryo bufite akamaro.

Ubuvuzi si ukwibagirwa umukunzi wawe cyangwa 'gukomeza'. Ahubwo, ni ukubona uburyo bwo kubaha urukundo rwawe mugihe kimwe ukaba wemerewe kwinjira mu buzima bundi.

Uburyo bwo guhangana n'umujinya udasanzwe wo kubura umuntu ukundwa mu rugo?

Mu gihe ubuvuzi bw'umwuga bukunze kuba ngombwa kubera umujinya udasanzwe, hari uburyo bw'inkunga ushobora gukoresha mu rugo kugira ngo ushyigikire ubuvuzi bwawe bw'umwuga. Ibi bintu bishobora kugufasha guhangana n'ibihe bigoye kandi ugahuza buhoro buhoro n'ubuzima.

Dore imwe mu ngamba zifasha mu guhangana n'umujinya mu rugo:

• Kora gahunda ya buri munsi irimo intego nto, zishobora gukorwa
• Kwita ku buzima bwawe nko koga mu mazi ashyushye cyangwa gutega amatwi umuziki utuje
• Kugira umwanya wihariye buri munsi wo kwibuka umukunzi wawe
• Kwandika ibaruwa ku muntu wapfuye cyangwa kwandika ibitabo by'umujinya
• Kuganira n'incuti cyangwa umuryango bagufasha
• Gukora imyitozo ngororamubiri yoroheje nko kugenda, bishobora gufasha imimerere yawe
• Kugabanya inzoga no kwirinda ibiyobyabwenge, bishobora kongera ibimenyetso by'umujinya
• Gukora imyitozo yo kuruhuka nko guhumeka cyangwa yoga yoroheje
• Gutekereza ku buryo bufite akamaro bwo kubaha urwibutso rw'umukunzi wawe

Wibuke ko gutera imbere mu guhangana n'umujinya udasanzwe bikunze kuba buhoro buhoro, hari igihe uba uri hejuru n'igihe uba uri hasi. Gira umutima mwiza kandi wihangane nawe ubwawe mugihe uhangana n'iki kibazo kigoye.

Uko wakwitegura mu gihe ugiye kwa muganga?

Kwitunganya mbere yo kujya kwa muganga bishobora kugufasha kubona ibyiza byinshi mu gihe cyawe n'umuvuzi wawe. Iyo uri mu mujinya, bishobora kugorana guhuza ibitekerezo byawe, bityo kugira gahunda bishobora kugufasha cyane.

Mbere y'umuganga wawe, tekereza gutegura ibi bikurikira:

• Igihe gito cy'ibyabaye n'uko ibimenyetso byawe byateye imbere
• Urutonde rw'ibimenyetso wihariye ufite n'uko bigira ingaruka ku buzima bwawe bwa buri munsi
• Amakuru ku mibanire yawe n'umuntu wapfuye
• Uburyo bwawe bw'inkunga n'ubufasha umaze kubona
• Imiti cyangwa ibindi bintu ukoresha
• Ibibazo ku bijyanye n'uburyo bwo kuvura n'icyo utegereje
• Amateka yawe y'ubuzima n'ubuvuzi bwo mu mutwe wabonye mbere

Ntukabe unahangayitse kubona ibisubizo byuzuye byose. Umuvuzi wawe asobanukiwe ko umujinya ushobora gutera imbogamizi mu gutekereza neza, kandi ariho kugufasha kuyobora mu nzira yo kubona inkunga ukeneye.

Icyingenzi cyo kumenya ku bijyanye n'umujinya udasanzwe wo kubura umuntu ukundwa?

Ikintu cy'ingenzi cyo kumenya ku bijyanye n'umujinya udasanzwe ni uko ari uburwayi nyakuri, bushobora kuvurwa kandi atari amakosa yawe. Niba umujinya wawe wumvikana nk'aho uhagaze cyangwa ukomeye amezi menshi nyuma yo kubura kwawe, nturi umuntu udakomeye, kandi nturi gupfobya umukunzi wawe ufashe ubufasha.

Umujinya udasanzwe ugira ingaruka ku bantu bagera kuri 7-10% babuze abantu bakundaga, bityo nturi wenyine muri iki kibazo. Hamwe n'ubuvuzi bukwiye, abantu benshi babona ihumure kandi biga gukomeza urukundo rwabo mu buryo bubafasha kwinjira mu buzima bundi.

Gukira ntibivuze kwibagirwa umukunzi wawe cyangwa 'gukomeza' nk'uko abantu bakunze kubivuga. Ahubwo, bivuze kubona uburyo bwo kubaha urukundo rwawe mugihe kimwe ukaba wemerewe kumva ibyishimo, imibanire, n'intego mu buzima bwawe.

Ibibazo byakunda kubaho ku bijyanye n'umujinya udasanzwe wo kubura umuntu ukundwa

Umujinya usanzwe umara igihe kingana iki ugereranyije n'umujinya udasanzwe?

Umujinya usanzwe ubusanzwe utangira kugabanuka ukaba woroshye mu mezi 6-12, nubwo ububabare bushobora gukomeza. Hamwe n'umujinya udasanzwe, ibimenyetso bikomeye, by'umujinya wa mbere bikomeza bidahinduka amezi menshi cyangwa imyaka nta giterambere.

Abana bashobora kugira umujinya udasanzwe?

Yego, abana n'abangavu bashobora kugira umujinya udasanzwe, nubwo ushobora kugaragara mu buryo butandukanye ugereranyije n'abakuze. Abana bashobora kugaragaza ibibazo by'imyitwarire, ibibazo by'ishuri, cyangwa gusubira inyuma mu iterambere. Bakunze kungukirwa no gufashwa n'abaganga b'inzobere mu bijyanye n'umujinya w'abana.

Umujinya udasanzwe ni kimwe na depression?

Mu gihe umujinya udasanzwe na depression bishobora kuba hamwe kandi bigasangira ibimenyetso bimwe, ni indwara zitandukanye. Umujinya udasanzwe ubanza kuba ku rupfu no kwifuza umuntu wapfuye, mu gihe depression igira ingaruka ku mimerere yawe yose n'inyungu mu buzima muri rusange.

Nzahora nishimye niba mfite umujinya udasanzwe?

Yego, hamwe n'ubuvuzi bukwiye, abantu bafite umujinya udasanzwe bashobora kumva ibyishimo n'umunezero. Ubuvuzi bugufasha kwiga gukomeza urukundo rwawe ku muntu wapfuye mugihe kimwe ukaba ushobora kwinjira mu buzima.

Ndagomba kwirinda ibyo binkwibutsa umuntu wapfuye niba mfite umujinya udasanzwe?

Mu by'ukuri, kwirinda ibyo bintu bikunze gutera umujinya udasanzwe. Ubuvuzi bukoreshwa bukunze kuba guhura buhoro buhoro n'ibibuka n'ibintu bikwibutsa mu buryo bufashwe, ibyo bigafasha ubwenge bwawe gutunganya ibyabaye mu buryo busanzwe.